By: Sabrina Peters
In a world where so many romances flicker out as quickly as they spark, there’s something profoundly beautiful about relationships that endure.
Long-lasting love isn’t just about surviving the years; it’s about choosing each other over and over, finding strength in shared challenges, and transforming the ordinary into something special. But what is the secret to making love last? Let’s explore the three essential ingredients: friendship, commitment, and forgiveness.
1. Friendship
It’s easy to fall for someone in the early days, but true love grows when two people build a lasting friendship. As Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, explains in The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work,
“Happy marriages are based on a deep friendship and a profound respect for one another.”
This friendship isn’t about always agreeing, but about valuing each other’s individuality and quirks. It’s about being there for one another, not just as partners but as confidantes. Take Tom and Ruth, who celebrated 70 years of marriage. To mark the occasion, they returned to the café where they first met in the 1950s. Tom, now 92, reflected, “It wasn’t always easy, but Ruth was always worth it.”
Their relationship was built not on grand gestures but on small, everyday moments: holding hands during tough times, sharing a quiet laugh over a cup of coffee, and being there for one another in ways that only true friends can. “It’s not the gifts I remember,” Ruth said softly, “it’s the times Tom held my hand when I needed him most.”
2. Commitment
The second key to lasting love is commitment. It’s not enough to say “I love you” at the altar or on your wedding day; it’s about the ongoing choice to stay, to support each other, and to keep growing together. As the philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre once said, “Love is not just a feeling; it’s a choice.”
Real love is about the decision to stay when things get tough, to stand by your partner even when walking away might seem easier. Commitment means being in it for the long haul, through the quiet days, the hard days, and the joyous days. It’s about weathering life’s inevitable challenges hand in hand, knowing that no matter what, you’re choosing each other.
3. Forgiveness
The third key to a love that lasts is forgiveness. Long-lasting relationships aren’t about avoiding conflict or pretending things are perfect; they’re about learning to let go of past hurts and moving forward together. As the poet Robert Frost wisely said,
“Love is an endless act of forgiveness. Forgiveness is the key to action and freedom.”
There will be mistakes, misunderstandings, and moments of hurt, but the ability to forgive is what allows love to grow.
As Lao Tzu said, “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” It’s in the quiet understanding, the unspoken acts of care, and the willingness to forgive that love finds its true strength. When we let go of grudges, we make room for compassion, connection, and a love that endures.
Honouring the Journey of Lasting Love
At the end of the day, a love that lasts is not built on perfection but on the continuous act of choosing each other, day after day. It’s in the moments of forgiveness, the small gestures of care, and the unshakable foundation of friendship and commitment that relationships grow strong.
As Maya Angelou once said, “We love because it’s the only true adventure.” Whether it’s the first year or the fiftieth, love that endures is a journey worth celebrating.
Let’s be inspired by the couples who’ve lived the adventure of love with grace, patience, and a little humour. Because in the end, lasting love is not just a destination—it’s the beautiful, ongoing journey of two people choosing to grow, laugh, forgive, and live life together.
About the Author: Sabrina is a writer, pastor and relationships blogger. She is passionate about Jesus and changing the way people think about God, relationships and sex.
Article supplied with thanks to Sabrina Peters.
Feature image: Photo by Sven Mieke on Unsplash