By: Laura Bennett
Nine months ago, Big Time Rush star Carlos Penavega and his wife Alexa (Spy Kids, Get Him Back for Christmas) shared the devastating news that their fourth child, daughter Indy Rex, had been born “at rest.”
WARNING: This story deals with the details of infant loss and mental health that may be distressing for some readers.
The stillbirth was completely unexpected. Just days earlier, Alexa glowed as she posted online about how hard it was getting comfortable at her stage of pregnancy, and right up until two minutes before delivery, Indy had a healthy heartbeat.
“Indy was a surprise loss,” Alexa said. “When I found out that they were struggling with a heartbeat, I don’t think I could really grasp in that moment what was really going on.”
Recently, Alexa spoke publicly about the emotional and spiritual details of the couple’s loss, and the powerful vision God gave her that’s been a comfort and guide ever since.
“After we lost her I was concerned that in time I wouldn’t be OK,” Alexa said. “That even though I’m OK right now, and [the] Lord is sustaining me, what’s going to happen a couple weeks from now?”
Alexa did “intense therapy” to make sure she “didn’t get stuck in this place of deep loss” and to ensure the peace she felt “from Him was maintained.”
“Through the [therapy process] the Lord gave me this insane vision,” Alexa said, detailing a scene where Indy was lying on the bed beside her. Alexa described being in a room full of medical staff trying to resuscitate Indy. Angels surrounded them, and God was standing beside the bed, weeping with the angels while also carrying Indy— but in His arms, she was “alive and happy.”
Alexa was struck by the fact that, as she cried, God cried too. “[He and the angels] weren’t like, ‘It’s OK, we have her, she’s safe,’ they were weeping for us,” Alexa said. “I felt so seen in that moment, and felt this relief of ‘thank you for crying for me, God.’”
Alexa still doesn’t understand why it happened but shared in a post at the time that Indy “completely changed our world” and “gave us the community we have been longing for.”
“Her life has had so much fruit, in just moments of being with her,” Alexa said. “It really doesn’t make sense, the peace that [we’ve] felt because it was so painful.”
If you need support after the loss of a child, Red Nose Grief and Loss can be contacted via their website or by calling 1300 308 307.
Article supplied with thanks to Hope Media.
Feature image: Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash
About the Author: Laura Bennett is a media professional, broadcaster and writer from Sydney, Australia.