By: Duncan Robinson
When I was in my 20’s I had big dreams. I wanted to change the world, write a book, speak to thousands of people, travel the world, get married, ride unicorns and punch Titans. They were all audacious, massive, incredible goals. I wanted to set the bar high, challenge myself at every pass.
New Year’s would roll around and I’d relish the opportunity to nut out another 5 year plan with a bunch of audacious goals. Big Dream and Powerful Vision.
Then I had kids.
Then my dream failed.
Then dad died.
….and then, and then, and then.
Big, Hairy, Audacious Goals
I’m 37 now and my dream is lofty. I want to be a good dad. That dream feels massive, audacious and a challenge. I also feel I’m not even close. I get angry too quick. I get frustrated too fast. I probably don’t give them my best time and I’ve got a long way to go as a dad. I’m a work-in-progress, but I want to do it well.
I pray, man I need Jesus on this. Kids are tough and exceptional all at once. It’s the hardest and most amazing thing ever being a dad, and I’ve got a long way to go, and no time to stop. It feels big, it feels hard and it takes up a LOT of my time.
Proverbs 22:6 feels like a big, hairy, audacious goal. Like something Jim Collins would say to a bunch of high-flying CEO types.
“Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.”
Start them off, raise them up, that’s a daily challenge!
The other lofty, audacious goal is to be a good husband. You want a big, freaking goal. Nailing it on the husband front seems like a challenge enough. People can struggle enough without the first one in the mix.
But I’m not some rookie 20-something millennial.
I’m a 37 year old, knuckle dragging, Gen-X, Silver Back. I’m swinging big and taking on two massive challenges….cause I can.
Yeah Paul I read 1 Corinthians 7 and know marriage is a challenge.
“I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.” – 1 Corinthians 7:7
I didn’t end up being single like you Paul, so I’m going to do my best to be the BEST hubby I can be. I’m not even close, I’ve got so far to go. So many things to improve on. There are days when I’m a miserable, melancholy sad-sack. Days where I ditch chores to sit on the couch. I drop the ball, but I’m also in the trenches committed to making it awesome.
Seriously, we can all do it better, and I’m willing to be the best possible husband I can be. Perfection isn’t reasonable, but I do want to get better, and better, and better. If I could look back 10 years on and see how I grew, I’d be a happy guy.
The best me I can be. And I pray like crazy. This is a huge challenge. I value marriage, and I love my wife. So I’m in for making that the best. Seriously though, it is a lofty, epic challenge.
Yes I’d love to preach in stadiums to thousands of people.
I’d love to write a best-selling book.
I’d love to cook a championship-winning BBQ.
I’d love to punch the moon and ride a unicorn.
I’d love to run a multi-million dollar enterprise.
But they aren’t my loftiest goals, they aren’t even my big goals. Those goals seem minuscule right next to ‘dad’ and ‘husband’. Let me crush those first, before I think about anything else.
I want to keep this simple and I think about these two goals in terms of my veggie patch at home. Two verses from Proverbs make this really clear.
Be sure you know the condition of your flocks, give careful attention to your herds – Proverbs 27:23
Put your outdoor work in order and get your fields ready; after that, build your house. – Proverbs 24:27
Tending to your own field, without being jealous or longing for a bigger one seems like a challenge. What if we poured our best energy and time into cultivating a home of love, inclusion and support within ministry? Too often I am guilty of using the house as a sanctuary where I can be my worst, rather than being my best.
What if we save the A-Game for home? Our demands are extensive and yes, work pays you for your best. We need to have rest and energy for working with our best foot forward. Yet if our family keeps getting our scraps, we’ll pay for our worst at home. I know finding the balance is hard, but these two verses in Proverbs give me pause to think – is home getting the energy and effort it deserves?
You will be a better husband if your first point of ministry is home. You will be a better dad if your marriage is on point. You will have greater perspective and reach if you tend to your home with the best energy.
That for me, feels big. It feels audacious. It feels challenging.
If these were the only two goals I had in my life, and I achieved them, I will have succeeded.
Article supplied with thanks to Duncan Robinson.
About the Author: Duncan Robinson is a radio host, pastor, husband and father of two.